


Tales of KingAegon I: Back to the Second Age (Reuploaded)

by RhaegarTargaryen666



Category: Runescape (Video Games)
Genre: Blood and Gore, Blood and Torture, Blood and Violence, Body Horror, Canonical Character Death, Character Bashing, Character Death, F/M, Graphic Description, Killing, Mahjarrat, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Violence, Swearing, Violence, Violent Sex, trollfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-17 03:56:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20614565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RhaegarTargaryen666/pseuds/RhaegarTargaryen666
Summary: KingAegon I, the most notorious Zaros supporter from the Runescape lore community travels back to the Second Age to stop Zamorak from betraying Zaros.(includes the original author's notes). This is a trollfic so "VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD."





	1. Aegon

**Author's Note:**

> ** For the record, my own notes will be in bold. **

Hi guys, it’s me Aegon from the Lore section on the Runescape fora. I’ve read some of stuff that’s been posted and some of you just fucking piss me off. I’ve seen the bullshit people have been sprouting and I will be adressing them. How can you people not like Zaros? He’s the best god ever, and he’s 20% cooler than Smurfdomin, that backstabbing traitor, that giant chicken and Sueren. He’s good, compassionate, badass, awesome…he’d answer injustice with justice. He’ll kill the other gods with the Elder Artifacts (Staff of the Chicken FTW!) gain their power, kill Mah in her sleep and gain her power, and then kill the Elders one by one, then when that’s done, he’ll kill Zamorak, Papa Smurf,Sueren and everyone else, and reclaim his empire; he’ll take what’s rightfully his with fire and blood.

So in retaliation for all the Zaros hate, I decided to write a pro-Zaros fanfiction (‘cause it’s not like I can just delete any anti-Zaros posts and thread, if I could I’d be doing that).

* * *

So in case you didn’t know, I’m 6 feet 3 inches tall with really huge mussels. I have very long, waste length hair like a shining river of silver under the pail moonlight on a star-less night (no I’m not an old man! shut your fucking mouth!), it’s natural (like Youko Kurama in Yu Yu Hakusho and Sesshoumaru in Inuyasha). I recently got purple highlights in it, ‘cause purple is the official Zarosian color so I did it to show my love for Zaros (ew, not in that way, you sick fuck) I also have red eyes, like the blood that spilled out of the Zamorakians and Smurfdominists and Suerenists and those who follow Armadyl that giant soon to be bucket of KFC (‘cause you all know Jagex is gonna kill him off, they’ll turn him into a bucket of fired chicken) when I killed them (so I look just like my ingame avatar).

Anyways, I was dressed very preppily in blue genes and a Tommy Hilfiger polo shit with a poopped collar as I drank my Stella Artois (I don’t care it’s wifebeater juice). I was at the bra in Varrock and I overheard some Zamorakians and Smurfdominists and Suerenists and KFCists talking shirt about Zaros.

"Zaros sucks!"

"He’s weak and he cunt fight!"

"His faction is too weak, he barley has anyone fighting for him!" 

"He’s evil!" 

"He experiminted on vampires and the Icyene and chickens!"

"He left Mah! How dare he not stay in an abusive situation and take it in the ass!"

"He scammed the demon king" 

"He never fulfilled his promise to the Ilujank!"   
  
"His empire was built on oppreshun!" 

I preyed to Zaros to strike them down with lightening, but a second passed and he never did. I knew he wouldn’t because Zaros was too kind and too merciful, it was his fatal flaw (yes he has a flaw, now shut the fuck up about him being a MarySue, he’s not a fucking Sue! Your all jealous the god you follow will never be as cool as Zaros), that’s why he wouldn’t take revenge on the backstabber in the present thyme even though that son of a bitch is 4567898725637892348749498372983479837326478936742934693469246328101689754245666 times worse than that cunt Joffrey. 

So I took matters into my own hands. I ran to the followers of the false gods and I grabbed them all by the hare and I dragged them outside. The flowers screamed but I gave them no mercy. I ripped out all of their tongues with hot pincers, then I had them all publically whipped, then I had their arms and legs flayed, then I tied them up on vertical wooden steaks and at night owls came and ate them, then at dawn they puked up pellets and you could still tell which body part they ate and whom it belonged too.

I sent the pellets of Smurfdomin followers back to him, I put the remains of the soon to be KFC’s followers into a cannon and I fried them into the sky and they landed in his citadel. I sent the Zamorak follower pellets back to him, and I sent the Sueren follower pellets back to her.

But I knew that alone wouldn’t stop people from disrespecting Zaros. I’d have to build a time machine, go to the Second age, stop the backstabber from ever carrying out his fucking traitorous plan, and then invade Hollowvale, Priffindas, and all the other lands until I conquered them all and convented everyone to the one true religio that is Zarosianism. 

Yes...I would take advantage of the botfly effect.

So I did that. The finished product was a time machina built inside a purple porta-potty, but it was much bigger on the insidious. So I went inside, set the dial & it took me into the Secord age. It took me there.

I got out of the potty, and I gapsed when I saw Senntitsten. It was 25678938267898239 times better than Priffindas width it’s own Grand Exchange (that had fucking unlimited sluts, beat that Varrock and Priffindas!), an agility course that automatically has your character running around, so you don’t have to click every 2 seconds (but only if you’re a true Zarosian like me), a cooking range that never let you bum anything (that only Zarosians could use), a summiting store that gave out charms, shards and everything else for free (but forZarosians only), a magick store that gave away runes (to Zarosians only), a store that gave you planks for fee (only to Zarosias), NPCs that would never catch you steel from them so you always got 1800 xp every time you pickpicket them (but only if you follow the one true god aka Zaros), a shop that gave out free erbs (to Zarosians), a Zarosian temple that had a golded altar only true Zarosians could use, a shop that gave out ice dragon bones (to real Zarosians like me), several farming pots that never got deseased (and only Zaros could use them).

It was awesome, and everyone loved in total happiness in a total utopia, but I knew it would all and the moment the backstabber backstabbed Zaros, and I knew I had to prevent that fast. I needed the Staff of the Soon to be KFC, and Papa Smurf’s crown to locate it, so I went to Hallowvale via teleabortion.


	2. Sueradomins death

Hi everyone. Aegon here, writing this even though it’s fucking Bonus XP weekend. Yeah, you people reading this better be grateful that I’m taking my time out of _mutherfucking_ Bonus XP weekend to write this. Plus I'm alittle pissed at the Runescape community , I saw a god emissary stats thread on the lorums and I found out the amount of followers Zaros had dropped by 0.04% and it made me want to flip my desk over. How can you people reject something so good? I don't fucking understand you. 

* * *

Anyways, so I got to Hallosvale, and compaired to Senntitsten, Hallowvale was a total ghetto shithole, like Detroit, Bronx, and Harlem. I wasn’t surprised since it was ruled by that tyrant Smurf. All his followers looked like they were ghetto too, they were dressed like ghetto trash, like a cross between Lil Wayne, Nicky Minaj, Tyga, 2Chainz, Juicy J, Drake, and that retarded whip/nae nae kid.

As soon as they saw me, they went up to me, like the fucking Jehovah’s Wetness preachers that try to recruit people into their fucking outdated cult.

"Excuse me sire," a Lil Wayne clone asked. "But do you have a moment tot talk about the lord of light Smurfdomin." 

"Fuck off, I follow Zaros." I said. 

The all gasped, and a second latter, they all took out some signs and they began to protist, like the Westborough Baptits Church.

"Smurfdomin hates you!" they all yelled. "Your going to bum in hell" 

"Yeah! The Smurf hates Zarosians! They’re fags!"

"Yeah! Zarosian fags die, Papa Smurf laughs!" 

"Thank the Smurf for dead Zarosians! Zaros doom nations!" 

"Pray for the deaths of Zarosians and their fig god!" 

"Yeah, and Zaros is the Anti-Christ!" 

"Repent or go to hell!" 

"No," I said. "Smurfdomin sucks. He is nothing but a wing ripping piece of shit who is a total centaur fucker. He is also a tyrant that’s 45672819098456178904928765356789382 times eviler than Stalin, Caligula, Vlad the Impaler, Ivan the Terrible, Pol Pot, Mao Zedong, Saddam Hussein, Kim Jong II and his son who looks like the fat kid from Up, Xerxes I of Persia, Vladmir Lennon, Emperor Nero, Commodos, Francesco Franco, Joffrey, Ramsey Snow and all of the Lannistas. He killed everyone in Guthix’s homeworld because they rejected him for Zaros. He ripped off Garlandia’s wings because she wouldn’t fight for him, he gave Sir Own a zombie arm because he was too fucking prideful to let me revive ham. He is a tyrant who forces his own followers to live in a total shithole while he resides in luxury in a palace made of gilded ivory and marble. And he’s brainwashed you all to follow him happily, even though he treats you like you’re nothing, but today is the day to repent and go back to the right path you’ve staryed so far from. Renounce the Smurf, and follow Zaros. Renounce, and you will never be piss poor again, renounce and you will have a god that actually watches over and cares aboot his followers, renounce and you will never live under an evil tyrant again" 

"No!" the all shouted. "We love the Smurf, and we’d rather follow him and live in ghettos than follow the anti-Christ who wears a retarded purple hood and live in luxury!" 

I took out my wand (from Harry Botter) which was 10 inches hazel with a dragon hartstring core.

"Friendfyre!" 

Then fiendfyre shot out of my wand and it hit all of the Smurf’s followers, and it burned them. Their hair, cloths, and skin cot on fire and I poured gasoline on them so they burned even harder. They screamed and they ran around, some of them even stopped dropped and rolled, but that only made the flames burn brighter.

"This is just a taste of what’s weighting for you," I tolled them. "In hell, which is whore you belong for not following Zaros."

Then more Smurfdominists came but I used my wand again.

"Petofucus Totalis!" 

I knocked them all out, and then I dragged them all to a warehouse which had a shitload of meat hooks on the ceiling and I hung them by the mouth to the meant hooks—so the hooks entered through their mouths and the tips came out through their throats.

Then they all woke up because of the pain of being hanged, and I welded the door of the warehouse shut, so they’d all die a slow painful death and even if they did escape the hook, they wouldn’t leave the warehouse and they’d starve or resort to eating each udder until their was only one left and that guy starved.

Then an icyene flew to me, and it was Zilyana, the red haired bitch and she was blushing so hard her face looked sun burned.

"Papa Smurf told me to kill you, but I can’t," she said."Because I think you’re really hot like Yoko Kurama and I love you." 

So I took her into a Smurfdominist church and I fucked her right there on the alter and she loved it and I hoped that would make Saradomin mad enough to cum here so I can kill him. But when he never came, I decided to take a shit on his alter, but that didn’t work either so I decided that if he won’t cum to me, I’ll come to him.

I ran out of the church. And then I flew over to his castle like Superman and I landed at the top of one of the ivory towers. 

"Come out and fight, you fucking Smurf!" 

He came out and he grew really tall, like that titan in Attack on Titan.

"I’ll kill you and eat you!" he said. "Like that titan that ate Erin’s mom in Attack on Titan!" 

"Accio firebolt!" I said just as he reached out to garb me, I summoned my Firebolt 360 (which is 456789098765345 better and faster than Harry Potter’s regular Firebolt) and I flew out of the way justin time.

I took out my wand. "Crucio!"

The Smurf fell to the ground and started to scream.

Sanctumsempra!"

4567890987653456789023456789234566778834567893456789 tiny cuts appeared on his body, and he screamed again, the cuts were shallow and none of them appeared on his vital pints so he couldn’t bleed out, all he could do was scream.

"Espikey!" 

I healed his wounds, then I catsed Sanctumsempra again, and I made him bleed and scream again, all while he was being tortured with the Crookshanks curse. I continued this for 345678909864323456789098765432345678987654323456789876543234567 hours strait until I got bored.

Then the Smurf defended himself with a protect against magic prayer, so now he was immune to magic. He knocked me off my broom with a Smurfdomin Strike and as I fell through the sky he cought me and swallowed me hole without chewing me. I went down his esophagus and into his stomach and I had to use a shield charm to protect me from his stomach acid. I then pointed my wand at myself.

"Engorgio!" 

The engorment charm made me grow and grow until his body was too big to contain me and I burst out of him like a xenomorph. The Smurf screamed and he lost blood but he was still alive and now I was big anough to fight him head on. I ripped the Elder crown of his head and using my wand I transfigured it into a large rock and I forced it into his mouth and it broke all his teeth witch all fell out.

Then I ripped it out and I bashed him in the head with it and he bled, and then he switched his prayer to protect against melee, so I took this chance to use the impedimenta jinx on him so he couldn’t move, then I ripped his steal-beating heart out of his chest and I shoved it down his throat and then he died.

I transfigured the stone back into the crown and I put it on and it showed me where the Staff was and I found out it was shoved up Amradyl’s ass.


	3. Sueradomins death prat 2: Desecraton

Aegon here a gain. I have to confess I’m a little angry. I only got one review on chapter 2, and that one didn’t even count cause it was a flame (from a butthurt Smurfdomin/Zamorak/KFC/Sueren fan, seriously some people don’t understand the concept of “dont like don’t read” I have to be blunt here if you don’t like my story, than get the fuck out, no one is painting a gun to your head and forcing you to read!). How the fuck can sommeone go from 3 reviews to 1?! Please review and favorite my story, ok Zarosians, I know you exist here, I’ve seen some of the stuff posted in the official Runescape group. You’re in the same faction as me, so back me up on this one. 

* * *

Then, before I could do anything else, Zilyanal flew to me.

"Yay! You did it!" she said happily. "You killed the evil tyrant Smurf!" 

"Yah," I said. "But my wok’s not done. I still need to track down the staff and kill the betrayer."

"Ok," Zilyana said. "But will you have celebatebatory sex with me before you go? When you fucked me on Smurfdomin’s altar, I felt somethong I never felt before, it was like there was an expolsion in my body, and…I cant put it in words but I wanted that feeling to last forever. It was so fucking god!"

It was good for me too, and Zilyanna was really hot with her red hair and big tits like Christina Hendricks from Mad Men excerpt she was younger and pettier and not fat, and I wanted to fuck her too, but I knew I could do that any tome I wanted and I had to hurry to get the staff, or else the fucking betrayer would get it and he’d stab Zaros with it and destroy life as we knew it.

"Myabe when I get back," I promised her.

"No! Now!" she insisted. "I want you to do me on top of the Smurf’s dead rotting, maggot-ridden body! You’ve already killed him, and given hymn what he deserved. You should take it further. Desecreate his corpse." 

She had a point. I fucking hated that Smurf for his fucking arrogance for destroying Guthix’s race for worshopping Zaros rather than him (in other words he was a genocidal, evil tyrant), being a wingripper, giving Ser Owen a zombie arm, forcing his own followers to live like bums and hobos while he lived as the 1% and he brianwashed them so they’d be happy with that and they were so branwashed they’d rather live under him as hobos than live under a different god in luxury.

Zaros would never do that. He was everything Smurfdomin was not. He was kind, selfless, benevolent, fair, and morally superior to the other gods in every way. He would put his people before himself, like Mance Rayder before Melisander burned him alive (sorry for the Game of Thrones spoiler), but unlike the Wildling king, Zaros never lost a battle (sorry for the other spoiler).

Oh and on top of that Smurfdomin was a centaur fucker and he got fucked by them too and he’s a rapist who raped Garlandia after he tore her wings off and he made everyone clap and cheer while he did it and he made Garlandia’s parents and brother maintain eye contact with him while he did her.

I nodded and then me and Zilyana fucked cowgirl style on top of Papa Smurf’s corpse. Then, we put rats on his corpse and they ate him. Then Zilyana took the rats away and put them in a box (like in the movie Se7en where they put Brad Pitt’s wife’s feetus, cut it out of her while she was still alive and put it is a box).

"Ok that’s done" I said. “But ho do I get to the KFC? He’s in a clann citadel (yeah the clan citadels used to be Avianse homes look it up, ok?) and I can’t get there. The Smurf knocked me off my broom and then my broom crashed to the ground and broke."

Then Zilyana pulled out a summoning punch for me, and she summoned a pair of black angel wings for me and I put them on, and I looked like a badass fallen angel (like in the song Fallen Angels by Black Veil Brides). Then I flew to the KFC’s citadel.

"Give me the Staff!" I shouted when I got there.

"Fuck no!" the giant talking furry chicken (who’s about to become KFC) said. "It’s mine!" 

"It belongs to Zaros!" I told him.

"Then cum and get it!" 

I ran but then a bunch of Avianse came. They flew towards me, and shot crossbow bolts tipped with acidic bird shit that was so corrosive that even a quarto of a drop could burn through diamond, tungsten and titanium.

So I took out my wand. “Protego!" 

A misty white substance shot of my wound ike a Patronus, it shielded my from the acidic bolts.

"Why do you follow a false god?" I asked the birds. "Armadyl may not be a traitor or a wingripper or a tyrant or an egotistical asshole who turned his most faithful follower into a zombie or a sadistic rapist torturer but he is still a false god who stole his power by killing another god. The only true god is Zaros, for he was born with his godly power and he didn’t need no Elder Artifacts to ascend. Armadyl may be good, but he’s also stupidly naïve, and he’s just like Sueren, instead of doing anything he just stays in his citadel whining about how much his life sucked and how all the other gods suck and when life gets tough, he doesn’t fight through advercity like you’re supposed to, he retreats back into the comfort of his castle in the sky while everyone else fights like a total fucking coward. And when life gets tough he shuts down and cries like a total pussy (like Shinji in Neon Genesis Evangelion). He is your leader, your god, and yet this is how he acts in the face of disaster. Is this who you’d follow? Even Tommen Baratheon (who’s probably even a bigger pussy than Shinji) would be a better leader than this piece of overgrown KFC and that’s saying something. A good, strong leader will lead his men into victory and prosperity, a weak leader would only bring them ruin and misfortune. Guess which one the KFC is! It doesn’t have to be this way, you don’t have to go extinct under an incompetent reader! For too long you’ve lived in sin following the wrong god, but it al ends today. Today, you have arrived at the fork in the road, today you can return to the will be on the path to righteousness, do so and Zaros will reward you like no other god, do so and you will flourish under is reign." 

"We don’t care!" the birds all cried at once. "We love the KFC, we’d rather perish under him than prosper without him!" 

"Yeah I bet you love him," I said. "I bet you fuckers love him every night" 

"Fuck you!" the Aviantsie said. "I’ll have your tongue out for that!" 

The Aviantese began to shed and their feathers were like needles tipped with a poison that would make you choke like Joffrey if they got in your bloodstream.

The shield I conjured was stale working, but I knew that while I was in defense mode, I couldn’t do anything, and I needed divine intervention so I prayed to Zaros.

Zaros, Eternal God King of the World, Lord Protector of Gielinor, Patron of Fate, save your most faithful follower, I preyed. Give these non-belivers what they deserve, give them fire and blood.

A secord later, one of the Aviansie had his face melt off like the Nazis in Riders of the Lost Ark, then another and another, until the Aviansie all dropped to the ground and knelled in front of me.

"We renounce the KFC!" they said. "You’re right, he was nothing but a naïve false god, and a pussy! We will do the bidding of Zaros now. What does the one true god command?" 

Then my eyes glowed purple and I spoke, but it wasn’t my voice, it was Zaros’ voice because he was possessing me.

"You have taken the first step to redemption," Zaros/me said. "But you’re not there yet. Before you becum a full-fledged follower, you must be punished for following the wrong god. You must now kill the KFC, season him with the 12 secret spices and herbs Kernel Sanders used to favour his original recipe chicken, deep fry him, then cut him open and eat him." 

"Ok," the Aviansie said. They ganged up on the KFC and skinned him alive and he cried like a little bitch the entire time, then they seasoned him, and put him into a deep fryer with hot boiling oil while he was still alive and then they fried him. Then they cut him open, and they took out the Staff that was up hiss asshole, and after they cleaned it, they gave it to me, and they gave me a box of KFC too and then I flew off to give the staff to Zaros so I could out Zamorak out as a traitor that was 34567890324096802345678982776358799345678973204378027843084372048372078342 times worse than Judas, Brutus, Cassius combined.

I told him what the betrayer had in mind and with Azzanadra, Wahisietiel, Akthanatos, Char and Nex we rushed over to the betrayer’s base. We kicked the door down, and we saw the betrayer with Zemouregal, Enakhra, Bilrach, Palkeera, Hazeel, Drakan, Viggora and Thammaron.

When Zamorak saw the KFC’s staff in Zaros’ hand, he knew his traitorous plan was foiled and he was so sacred he pissed and shat his pants at the same time.

"OMG Zaros!" he said as he kneeled. "I’m so sorry! Please don’t kill me! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!" 

"In the name of Zaros of House Zaros, One True God, Eternal King of the World, Lord Protector of Gielinor and Patron of Fate, I sentence you to die," Azzanadra said. "Do you have any last words?"

"Please have mercy!" Zamorak, Zemouregal, Enakhra, Bilrach, Palkeera, Hazeel, Drakan, Viggora and Thammaron all said at once and they all kneeled too. "Have mercy on us, Your Grace!" 

"His Grace will be merciful," I said.

They all smiled, before Azzanadra, Wahisietiel, Akthanatos, Char and Nex, Jhallan, Mizzach dragged them all out. We took them to the swamp, we striped them all nude and tied them to canoes, and force fed them all milk and honey until they puked and had diarrhea, and barfed and shat on themselves.

"What the fuck is this?" Zamorak said. "You promised me mercy! You promised us all mercy!" 

"I did," Zaros said. "I am being merciful by not killing you."   
  
He smirked. "You’ll get it soon enough." 

They spread the milk and honey over the traitors’ eyes, nose, ears, mouth, asshole, genitals (except for the girls, for them they spread it over their cunts instead), and the smell of shit, puke, milk and honey attracted all sorts of insects like flies, wasps, bees, worms and others I didn’t know the names of, the insects stung and ate them and Zaros raised both of his hands and conjured purple orb, each orb flew to and hit a victim.

"Now I’ve granted you immortality," Zaros said. "For being traitors, you will spend eternity tied to canoes with chains that would never break, pissing and shitting and puking yourselves and being devoured and stung by insects." 

He then muttered an incantation in the Freneskae tongue and a purple square that was see though like glass formed around the betrayers.

"This barrier is also unbreakable," he told them. "There is no escape from the King’s justice. Enjoy your time here." 

He turned to me. "Now let’s talk about your reward, Aegon. I believe I have just the thing for you." 

So we went back to his castle where Zilyana (she’s converted to Zarosianism now) waited for me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **One thing I'll always be amused at is how a bad fic from 2015 predicted the future, it predicted that Armadyl was a gay furry and fast forward a few years, Jagex reveals he's gay.**


	4. Death of teh resistense

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **The violence and gore reaches a peak in this chapter so...have a drink ready. You'll need it.**

Aegon here. So chapter 3 got two reviews, that’s one more than last time, but I was going for more than two. But I hope the pattern continues, and I want more than two reviews for this chapter. Anyways, so I’m feeling very pissed at the moment, ‘cause people on the forums are talking shit about me, they’re posting this really fucking retarded copypasta, that’s basically the Shrek is love, Shrek is life one, but they replace Shrek with Zaros and they all make it really fucking obvius that the guy getting fucked in the ass by Zaros is me. That’s just fucking nasty, ok? I am medicated to Zaros and will do anything for him but I won't do him or let him do me. Dedication does not mean I wannabe fucked by Zaros, that’s just fucking disgusting. Besides I’d never cheat on Princess Astrid and Zilyana and Zaros would never chit on Sueren.

* * *

Zilyana got on her knees as son as she saw Zaros.

"All hail His Grace Zaros of House Zaros, First of His Name, One True God, Eternal King of the World, Lord Protector of Gielinor and Patron of Fate," she said while she was kneeling. "Oh Zaros, I renounce the evil, centaur fucking, sadistic rapist tyrant Smurf so I can get back to the path to righteousness and redemption for my sins. From this moment on, I follow no one but the One True God; no one but you, Your Grace" 

"I accept your allegiance," Zaros said. "But you are only beginning to repeant. Realizing you were following the wrong god is only the fist step, you must now be punished for following Smurfdomin before you can become a full-fledged Zarosian, like the Aviansie. You see, in order to be a true Zarosian, you must be free of sin, sine you can only commit by following a false god, if you were born Zarosian, you are free to go, but since you’re not, you were born as a Smurfdominist and you only resently converted to the one true religion, you must be purified from those sins. And the only way to be purifired is to be punished. You may rise." 

"I’m ready for my unishment," Zilyana said. "I don’t care how painful it will be, I will endure it and becum a true Zarosian. I will endure any and avery kind of pain, if I have to be whipped publically, I will be whipped, if I have to have my eyes gouged out then fed to me, tongue ripped off, wings ripped off, limbs cut off and forced to live the rest of my days in the deepest, darkest, coldest dungeon that’s filled with piss and shit as a shadow of my formal self, I will grin it and bear it, if I have to be tied up and put into a burlap sack that’s then given to unicorns to be trampled, I will deserve it, if I have to have my head cut open and than have molten gold poured into my brains, eyes, nose and down my throat, I will endure that too. Whatever it may be, I will endear it, believe me, I’ve bin through my fair share of pain." 

"I know you have," Zaros said. “Anyone who lived under that evil, centaur fucking, sadistic rapist tyrant Smurf will know pain. But none of that will be necessary for you, you are quiet unlike the Aviansie, Aegon sees something very special in you, and he would be so disappointed if you were harmed. All you have to is accompany Aegon on his next task, where he must stop some rebels. Ever since I punished Zamorak and his traitor allies, some people of my Empire have been getting all riled up, it seems they see the traitor as martyrs for a noble cause, those fools are now inspired by his example and they all want to follow in his footsteps. You must stop this at onece, Aegon."

"Ok," Zilyana said. "Thank you for being merciful. You are so much better than Pap Smurf. He would’ve tortured me for sure, then he would’ve raped me." 

"I am a kind and merciful god," Zaros agreed. "Aegon, try to turn these stupid misguided people back to the right path, if not kill every last man, woman, and child, like you did with those Smurfdominists that were damaged and brainwashed beyond repare, none of them should escape, even if a mother carries a child in her belly, cut her open and kill the kid. I want them all dead." 

"Yes, Your Grace," I told Zaros.

"Aegon, I still haven’t awarded you yet," Zaros said. "Cum." 

I followed him into the castle, up the spiral marble staircase and into his bedroom which was really, really huge, it was so big I couldn’t believe it, I didn’t think a room this big could exist. It had a huge king sized bed that had a solid gold headboard that had purple diamonds encrusted in it, with bedsheets and covers made of purple silk that was embroidered with gold thread and pillows stuffed with soft white feathers. The furniture was solid gold too, the drawer was a solid gold with knobs of purple diamond that was cut into an ova shape, the L-shaped desk and chair was sold gold too, along with the bookcase and the wardrobe.

Zaros took something out of the bed and it turned out to be a sold gold suitcase, he opened it and took out a purple party hat that was also trimmed with gold. It was worth more than all the current patty hats in-game combined.

He handed it to me. "You’ve earned it, Aegon." 

I got to my knees. "Thank you, Your Grace."   
  
He put the hat on me, as if he was crowning me king. "I wish you the best with your task tomorrow." 

"Thank you, Your Grace," I said and got up.

"That will be all, Aegon," he said and then I left, and that was all we did in his room. (Seriously, did you sick fucks actually think we were gonna fuck? Yeah you did, I bet you thought Zaros was going to make me bend over and then fuck me. Well, too fucking bad cause I’ll never write something that kind of…abomination. And fuck you if you actually like that Zaros is love, Zaros is life copypasta. ‘Cus I’m not Zaros’ fucking cum dumpster.) 

I went back to Zilyana and it was rather late and we decided to get some food. We went to a body sushi place and I got to eat sushi off of Zilyana’s sexy naked body and I had some sake (Japanese beer) too and then we checked into a hotel.

The next day….

We flew to the eastern part of the Empire to what is now Assgarnia, where people were assembling an amy. Unlike the Sumurfdominists, the Zamorakian rebells all like a cross between One Direction, Justin Beiber, Fifth Harmoney, Little Mix, Selina Gomez, Taylor Swift (or Taylor Shit as I like to call her), Demi Lovato, The Weekend, Miley Cyrus, and Adele like all the shitty pop singers out there (fuck pip music, fuck rap too, both of those genres can go die in a fire, then afterwards I’m gonna piss on all their ashes).

Their leader was hot though. She had blond hair like liquid god, really big tits, and a nice ass, and she was wearing batwing robes which really allowed me too get a good loo at her cleavage.

"Rebels!" she yelled. "Today we fight for our freedom! Today we fight against the tyranny of Zaros! Today, we die as free men and woman, but our war cries were be heard throughout history! We will be remembered as brave men and woman who stood up to a tyrant! They will whisper our names at night as they plan to overthrow the purple hooded tyrant fag! They will cry out our names on the battlefield as they fight against him! We will—"

I interrupted her retarded speech by firing the cruciatus curse at her, but she dodged it.

"What the fucking hell?" she sais angrily.

"Dissemble your army," I ordered. "Or I’ll kill you all, like I killed every single Smurfdominist in Gielinor save for Zilyana! It is not too late to renounce this foolishness, it is never too late, if you disbnad your army, Zaros will be merciful to all of you, he won’t punish you, or torture you, or kill you." 

"Did he give Lucien and Zamorak nad Drakon an everyone else mercy?" the bitch said.

"They got what they deserved,” I told her. “They were traitors and they will spend an eternity in their own piss and shit and vomit, tied to canoes in a swamp, being eaten and stung by bees, wasps, flies, worms, spiders and other insects and those insects will also breed in them, and they will feel everything as the baby insects hatch and crawl out of their skin. And Zaros made them all immortal so they can never die, and they can’t escape either because they’re all trapped together behind an unbeakable barrier. Even if they died, they will all go to the deepest, darkest, coldest and iciest level of hell and they will spend an eternity being chewed on and raped by a sharktopus, because they are traitors who are 34567890324096802345678982776358799345678973204378027843084372048372078342 worse than Judas Iscariot, Brutus and Cassius." 

"Fuck you, Aegon!" the blond whore said. "Don’t ever talk about Lucien and Zamorak and the other guys like that!"

"Why?" I assked her. "What’s he too you?"   
  
"He’s my lover," she said. "And today, I’ll avenge him! Then I’ll rescue him and kill Zaros myself! My name is Relaera Vallarys. Rememember it, it’s the last name you’ll hear." 

(BTW, she’s Moia’s mother).

"I wish your here, Lucian" she said. "We always talked about how we'd fight together. I'm sure you're here with me in sprite." 

I pointed my wand at her. "Reducto!" 

The spell hit her and she was knocked buck and she fell on to several army guys. They yelped in pain, and then I used Ice Barrage on them, so they were all frozen from the neck down.

"Now watch what happens when you reject Zaros," I said to them. "If your wise you’ll reconsiter your decision."

"Expelliarmus!" 

I disarmed Relaera and her staff and runes flew out of her hands into mine, and I threw them to Zilyana. I forcibaly striped her nude and then I titty fucked her, then I took out a dagger and stabbed her body and created a new hole, then I fucked that, then I stabbed her again and fucked that new hole, and I kept doing it until she was full of holes like Swiss cheese.

But before she could die, Zilyana healed her with the Heal Othor spell, and she was healed. Then I took put some pliers and pulled her nipples out and she creamed and blood shot out of her boobs. Then I force fed her the nipples, and she puked afterwards, and I force fed her the puke too. Then I whipped her with a whip that had glass and medal shards at the end, and when I whipped her it took off a few stripes of skin. I whipped her until every inch of her body had a few bits of skin removed, and then I poured salt on her wounds and she screamed.

Then I fed her her own skin, but she didn’t puke this tyme, then I forced her legs apart with stirrups, then I inserted a rat that was knocked out with anasthesia into her cunt and another one into her asshole. Then I sewed both of them shut with needle and a thread. Then the rats woke up, and ate their way out of her, and she felt everything ass they chewed their way out with their insizers and fangs, one of the rats was pregnant with a litter of eight and she gave birth and the baby rats chewed their way out too. One of the rats burst of out of her shoulder, another out of her brain, a baby rat burst out of her eye, another one out of the other eye, another one of her mouth, another out of her tit, another out of her stomach, another out of her ribs, another out of her hand and anpther out of her face.

Then once all the rats were out, I fucked all the knew holes, then I slut her throat.

"Now, I’ll ask you again," I said to the rebels. "I’ve made an example out of your leader. Should I do the same to you, or will you stop this foolishness?" 

"I’d rather be tortured to death as a free man and woman than serve that purple bastard in chains," they all said at the same time. "How dare you kill Moias Mom our leader? We will never go back to Zaros, anyone who approves of your shit is clearly 457823097846752153671890411112407489942878 times eviler than Papa Smurf and the so called Betrayer combined." 

I was so fucking angry they dared to say such bullshit, so I ripped out all their tongues and teeth without anasthesia, gouged out their eyes, then I cut their eyes and tongues to little pieces and fed it to them, so they could eat it but not delliberately choke on it to end their pane. I threw the teeth out, then I poured honey on all of them, then Zilyana gave me a summoning scroll, then I summoned some bears, and the bears walked towards them and all they could do was watch as the bears ate them and their friends, and they all felt everything, then me and Zilyana flew away and we could still hear the screams.

We went back to Zaros’ castle.

"We did it, Your Grace" I told him.

Zaros nodded in approval. "Good. I’m glad. I knew you’d succeed. Would ypu mind doing more favors for me?"

"Not at all, Your Grace," I said. "What does Your Grace want?"

"Hmm…." Zaros said. "I want you to conqer the Khardian dessert for me, but at the same time, I want you to go west to the elfen lands. Desions, decisions." 

"If only there was two of me," I said. "I’ll work overtime, Your Grace. What do you want me to doo first?" 

"Thank you, Aegon. I want the Kharidan dessert first."

"OK." 


	5. da dessert gods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **More violence. Get your drinks ready.**

Aegon here. Chapter 4 only got 1 review and I’m dissapoointed. Azzanadra is disappointed too, that you people aren’t reviewing my story, especially you Zarosians here, he’s disappointed you’re not agreeing with me. I’m not only disappointed, I’m fucking pissed too. I wanted at least 3 reviews, and it went down to one! I better get at least 2 reviews for this chapter, and if I get less, I fucking swear to god, I will be so fucking mad I would throw something a t the wall. 

* * *

So me and Zilyana flew to Al Kharid, where everypne was doing what they normally did on a Friday afternoon. Unlike the followers of the Smurf and the betrayer, these people didn’t look like a combination of Lil Wayne, Nicky Minaj, Tyga, 2Chainz, Juicy J, Drake, Jay Z and that retarded whip/nae nae kid or a cross between One Direction, Justin Beiber, Fifth Hermione, Little Mix, Selina Gomez, Taylor Shit, Demi Lovato, The Weekend, Miley Cyrus, Beyonce, Kesha, Lady Gaga and Adele. They looked like a cross between Nickelback, Maroon 5, Five Seconds of Summer, Black Eyed Pees (fuck all of these bands, they all suck), so they all looked completely fucking retarded.

I knew from just looking at them that they were people who followed false gods like Tumeken, Elindis, Crondis, Het, Scabaras, Ampeken, Icthlarin and Amascut, no one who followed Zaros the one true god who ever look so fucking retarded.

I saw a bunch of people going into a temple dedicaked to these false gods and I fired Fire Surge spells at the temple, and it went up in flames while there was people in it and they all screamed, and then I poured gasoline on it to make it burn even hotter and everyone there was burned alive.

I grinned at the satisfaction of knowing that so many of those non-beliebers and heretics were dead and I saw Zilyana smiling too and I knew she was thinking the same thong.

Everyone was screaming at trying to put out the fire, and they were pouring water on it, but the more water they poured, the brighter it burned because it was a gas fueld fire.

They all preyed to their false gods, but nothing interesting happened, the fire burned brighter and hooter than ever.

"Your false gods have no power here!" I yelled.

They turned and saw me and Zilyana hovering in the sky, her with her white icyene wings and me with my black wings like a fallen angle.

"Shut your fucking moth!" they all yelled angrily. "Icthlarin and all teh other dessert gods have so much power, they’re 345678909876543234567890876543567 times more badass, awesome and epic than you’ll ever be, you fucking emo faggot! Icthlarin has total control over the dead, he can revive people as undead zombies or vampires! He can revive animals too! He can revive every thing that ever once lived in Gielinor as a zombie or a vampire and he can make them all come at you at once! Do you know how many living cratures have died over the billions of years since the first single celled orgasms appeared? Fighting him is like fighting an army of 783 centillion undead organisms that cunt be killed! How can you kill what is already dead? He has a pack of undead Gorgonopsids ready to do his bidding to eat you alive! He can command an army of Dimetrodons! He can ride a zombie Giganotosaurus! He has an army of zombies and vampires that can ride giant Xenosmiluses! He can summon undead ancient archaebactria that will infect you and kill you and because these bactria are so ancient there is no cure for the horrible diseases they’ll give you! He can summon hellfire that can burn forever! He can control your soul! He can split your saul into several pieces and torture them all at once! He control the earth itself and bend it to his will! Donot ever disrespect Icthlarin! Donut ever disrespect the dessert pantheon! Amascut can devore your soul and your body, once you’re inside her you well suffer forever, her stomach acid is liquid hellfire which is 4567890987654356789 times hotter than molten lead! They will burn through your skin, organs, blood, veins, arteries and bones and then they’ll heal you so it can start all over again! She can control your body to use as a puppet while you’re still conscious, so you still know what you’re doing and she can make you attack your allies! And she can control 4567890987654345678 people at once! She was the goddess of rebirth! She can’t ever die! Now she’s the goddess of destruction she can obliterate your city completely with a single air strike spell! She can also summon familias to help her destroy cities! She can summon two nine tailed foxes, one black and one white, and they will help her destroy all of Gielinor! Their breaths are poisonous, their tails can crush mountains and cities and forests, their blood is 34567898765434567 times more acidic than fluoroantimonic acid, their teeth and claws can cut through anything and are 34567898765456789 times stronger than titanium and tungsten! And don’t get me started on what Tumeken can do! He can make anything explode, he has telekinissis! He can snap his fingers and blow up all of Gielinor if he wanted to! He can—"

"You shut the fuck up!" I interrupted. "All of you retarded shitheads know nothing! If Your retarded false gods are so powerful, how come they couldn’t put out the fire"

That stumped them and they all became silent so I stated to speak.

"Because they are nothing but false gods!” I said. “Just luke Smurfdomin, the Betrayer, the KFC and everyone else! The one true god is Zaros and I can prove it!" 

I prayed to Zaros out loud. "Zaros, Eternal God King of the World, Lord Protector of Gielinor, Patron of Fate, put out these fires and help all these people who have been living in ignorance for several generations see the error of their ways. Lead these people away from sin and back to righteousness." 

Hald a second later, the fires were immediately put out.

"See?" I said." That was the power of Zaros. Icthlarin and the other dessert gods couldn’t put out the fire hecause they are weak and they don’t care. Zaros cares about his followers. Convert now, and you will never have to experience such trageties again. Convert now and you will live in prosperity like everyone in his empire, convert now and you will never have to live in the desert where nothing grows. Convert and you will live in rich fertile land where everything grows all year round and you will harvest more crops and produce than you evil will if you stayed in the desert. Zaros rewards his followers, he will watch over them and look out for them and shield them from harm if need be. Zaros is a kind, compassionate god who will answer injustice with justice, but if you reject him, he will answer with fire and blood." 

Half of the desert people kneeled. "All hail Zaros!" 

"All hail Zaros!" I said. "Of House Zaros, First of His Name, One True God, Eternal King of the World, Lord Protector of Gielinor and Patron of Fate." 

"All hail Zaros of House Zaros, First of His Name, One True God, Eternal King of the World, Lord Protector of Gielinor and Patron of Fate," they repeated. "We’re sorry we ever followed the wrong gods! How can we make up for it?" 

I looked at the people that did not convert

"What the fuck?" they all said angrily. "Have you all forgotten what Zaros tried to do? He tried to take over our area and brainwash us like he did to this retarded, silver haired, inbreeding, dragon fucking Targaryen! Tumeken kept him out and even sacrificed his life so we may be free of that purple tyrant’s control? Now you’re going to squander his sacrifice and convert to that bastard? Have you lost your minds?"

I was so fucking angry and I saw that Zilyana was angry too because they insulted me.

"The first path to redemption is that you must be punished for following false gods in the first place," I told them. "You must capture these non-belibers and force them into stocks, then torture them until they all die. I don’t care who these people are to you, I don’t care if they were your parents, grandpaents, uncles, aunts, cousins, children, brothers, sisters, friends, or lovers, none of that matters, all it matters is that they’re heathens who must be made an example of, so we can show the world this is what happens when you reject Zaros." 

So we captured them and beat them up and then we all forced them into wooden stocks—the kind with five holes, one for their head to poke through on one side, the rest for their hands and feet and their back would be on the other side all curled in a stressful and painful position. Then we shoved thin sewing needles up their fingernails, until their nail beds were so full, we couldn’t even squeenze in one more needle. So then we did it again to their toes and we put salt on their wounds. Then we let them out of the stocks and we cstripped them all nude, shaved their heads and tied them to a metal pole that was out in the hot sun. Then I strapped a metal box that was attatched to some wires and an electric power box to their genitals and I shoved another wired box up their asses, and to the girls I shoved it up their cunts and up their asses too. Then I switched the power boxes on, and all of them got shocked. It was enough to make them scream but not enough to kill them. I played around with the power box for a bit, I turned it off, then on again real quick, then off, then on, then off, then on until I got bored and I gave the box to Zilyana, and she played with it until she got bored and she gave it to one of the new converts and he played with it until he got bored and passed it to the next guy until everyone had a turn with it.

We left them in the hot sun for a day without food and water, although I died piss in a cup and I let every one of them drink a few sips of my piss so they wouldn’t die or faint from dehydration or a heat stoke.

Then I brought a hooker who looked like a cross between Helen Flanagan, Amber Heard, and Lexi Belle, she was really hot with really big tits and a sexy ass and she started stripping. I could see all the guys were getting really turned on, so I shoved a think glass tube up their urethra and I sent the hooker away, and their boners saged and the glass broke and they all had sharp glass in their dicks. Then I gave them all so much Viagra they got priaprism and then I let all the girls down and I make them give all the guys blowjobs and I made them all do deep throating and the glass in their dicks cut their throats and it was really painful. Then I tied the girls back up and they all had glass in their mouth. They cried, and I duct taped their mouths shut so they couldn’t spit the glass out. They swallowed them (and galss wasn’t the only thing they swallowed) and then I shoved more glass up the guys’ urethra I kept shoving several glass tubes up them, and then I gave them some medication that cured their priaprism and their boner went away and the glass broke and they bled. I gave them super Viagra this time and they got priaprism again, and I made the girls blow them and deep throat them again, and this time them girls were all left with a mouthful of glass, and I taped their mouths shut again and they all swallowed (not just glass). Then I gave the guys medication and their priapism was cured. The pattern continued, until I lost track of much glass and cum the girls swallowed and I left them there for another day and I gave them no food or water except for a few sips of my own piss. The next day, I came out and saw the girls all dead. The glass went through their diegestive tract and they all bred to death from shitting out so much of it and there were flies buzzing around them and maggots and a shitload of other insects I couldn’t name crawling in their flesh. Then I turned to the guys and they begged me to just kill them already.

I brought a doctor in, and he sewed their assholes shut and I cut up all the girls and I feed them their rotten flesh while it was still raw, and Zilyana watched and she join in and started feeding them too, and we didn’t stop until they ballooned up like that fat guy in Seven, and their stomachs all burst open and exploded because they were all such gluttonous pricks.

Everyone cheered, and I joined in, and the converted dessert people clapped too, but it all came to an end when Icthlarin and Amascut showed up.

"What the fuck is going on here?" Icthlarin said angrily.

"How dare you this to our followers?" Amascut added. "I will fucking destory you for this!" 

"And you have just earned eternal damnation for you’re sous!" Icthlarin said. "I will rape your souls now!"

He took out a scythe and summoned a vapire short faced bear and Amascut summoned her nine tailed foxes.

"I don’t think your normal forms will be enough to kill these pieces of shit," she said. "Activate your super firm!"

The black and white foxes combined together (like Devastator in Transformers 2) and formed a ten tailed fox with silver fur and it bared its fangs at me, and I knew I was done for….  
  
Ok, so I will leave this at a cliffhanger, if you want to know what happens, next leave a review. The more reviews I get the faster the next part will be out. 


	6. killing teh Dessert Goods

Aegon here. So chapter 5 got 2 reviews, that’s good but I want more though. I think this store should be read by everyone especially the Zarosians of the lorums, because I’ve prefectly captured the exact Zarosian ideology. Anyways so school was keeping me busy, hens the delay between chapter 5 and this chapter, and I was busy during Christmas time too and I was working on another project, an original story.

* * *

I knew their was no way in hell I could kill the sliver fox, not without divine intervention, so I preyed to Zaros to save his most loyal and faithful and hardworking and amazing and awesome and cool follower, and then………

I got the power to possess otter people and animals too, so I possessed the silver ten tails and I made it turn around and then it ran to Amascunt and it whipped her with his tail and she fell back and slammed into Icthlarin, and he dropped his scythe.

I picked it up telekineticly (yes I have telekinesis, Zaros gave me that power too ok). "Now I’m going to raep your soul!" 

But first Zilyana fired a blisterwood arrow at the vapire short faced bear and it died. I smirked at Icthlarin.

"What is dead may never die? What a joke! I just killed one of your retarded campires!" 

But then Icthlarin summoned more shortfaced bears and this time they were zombies and they also had zombie mage riders, so I just possessed the zombie mages to make them all kill their mounts them themselves. Then Icthlarin summoned an entire army of vapire Spinosaurus and another army of vampire Carcharodontosaurus, but Zilyana killed them again.

"Go on, summon whatever you want," I tiled Icthalrin. "Zilyana and me will kill them."   
  
"Then Ill take her out!" he shooted.

He summoned sum zombie Quetzalcoatlus ridden by vampire rangers with crossbows and they all shot at Zilyana, but she prayed to Zaros and he granted her the power to repel all ranged missels and deflect them back, basically the deflect mussels curse. She did that and all of the crossbow arrows hot the zombie Quezalcoatlus riders and they fell to the ground and did. Then I possessed the Quetzalcoatlus and they all flew down and pecked Icthlarin, like how all those angels started pecking Asuka in End of Evangelion. They pecked his eyes out and they ate his skin, and they slurped up his intestines too, like they were noodles. They ate his liver too, and his stomach and some of his brain. They swalled his fingers like sausages. They picked the skin off of his legs, arms, head and torso, and they started gnawing at his genitals.

Then I possessed Icthlarin and I made him summon a bout 456789876567 centillion Asian giant hornets and then I possessed them all and I made them all sting what was left of his body, and their stings were so venomos they turned what was left off his insides into acidic goop. He screamed in pane (and he could still scream cus I possessed the Quetzalcoatlus before to leave his tongue alone, although this did peck out some of his teeth and they pecked his gums bloody).

And then he begged for mercy. "Please, Aegon! No moar! Ill do anything, please dont torture me anymore!" 

"Very well," I told him. "I will be merciful, like Zaros to Zamorak and the otter traitors." 

I possessed Icthlarin and I made him raise a step pyramid ouf of the ground that was made of dirt blocks, and I made Icthlarin and Amascunt walk up 109876543567890876543567 steps in the hot dessert sun without any water or taking a beak. And I also farced them to wear winter parkas to make it harder. While they walked I possessed bot flies to eat and lay eggs in their exposed skin and then I possessed the hatchet larvae to eat their flesh too and when they grew up they flew to the parts that were covered by the parkas, and they laid more eggs witch became more larvae and the cycle continued. 

It took them 3 days to climb to the top, and when we got there I possessed him and I mad him build an earth temple. 

"Citizens of the dessert!" I shouted "Gather around! Now I’ll show you the true power of Zaros!"

They did and I turned to Icthlarin and I gave him a buming white hot rod. "Now shove it up your sister’s ass," I said to him. 

He was so scared of what I’d do if he refused that I didn’t evan need to possess him, so he did it and Amascunt screamed and then I gave him another burning white hot rod and I told him to shove it up her cunt and he did that too.

Then I told him to take it out as quickly as he can, and he did that and blood poured out of her cunt and ass and they ran down the pyramind steps and they landed on to the dandy dessrt ground. Her blood fertilised the ground and green grass immediately started growing right where her blood was and everyone crapped in amazement.

"If you follow Zaros, hell reward you!" I told them. "He’ll make sure you never have to live in the dessert again, where you get no rain and nothing grows! You’ll get to live in fertile green plains under a true, merciful, compassionate, just, honourable god, whose everything the false gods like Kentucky Fired Armadyl, the betrayer and the Smurf and these two"

I pointed to Icthlarin and Amascunt. "aren’t." 

"Hail Zaros!" Everyone shouted. "Hail Zaros! Hail Zaros! Hai Zaros!"

And then I stuffed Amascunt into a white burlap sack, and then I took out a summoning scroll and I summoned a majestic black unicorn with glossy black fur and a long and lustrous mane and tail and a long spiralled black horn and eyes as black and onyx and obsidian (Unicornz Pwn this is you!). The unicorn started trampling the sack until it was completely died red. Then I opened it and so much blood poured out, they ran down the steps of the pyramid and they seeped into the dessert ground causing a large, spiky stalks an leaves started to grow and I made it climb up all 109876543567890876543567 steps of the pyramid (Zaros gave me the power to control plants too, ok like Kurama in Yu Yu Hakusho) and the leaves wrapped themselfs around Amascunt and the spikes dug into her body and I gave her some anemic medication to increase her blood cunt and an entire sea of blood poured out, and when they got down the pyramid steps and seeped into the dessert ground, it turned all of Second Age Al Kharid from a dessert into fertile green plains where all kinds of plants and crops and flowers and fruits and trees could grow year round with no winter. They’d yield more than regular plants and they were pest resistant too. I gave her even more anemic medicine that if she was killable, Amascunt would’ve died from an overdose, and then the unicron started goring Amascunt with his long black horn like a rhinoceros goring a lion with its horn, and so much blood pored out, it was like a pacific ocean of blood. 

Then I turned to Icthlarin. "I’ll spare you, I’ll leave you alive."   
  
And he was so happy to hear he started crying and thanking me. 

Then I took out the scythe and raped his soul, and then the purple skinned, red horned, white haired guy from the Reaper Death Seal Jutsu in Naruto ate it and then he coughed out an improved verison and I put that back in Icthlarin’s body, and now he was completely loyal and obedient to me and he;d even tortured himself if I told him to. And even while he was torturing himself he’d still be happy that he was serving me.

"You will keep watch over her," I told the new and improved Icthlarin.

"Yes," he said.

"And you will concert to Zarosianism," I said.

"Ok, I’ll do that."   
  
"And you will regularly give her anemic medication and cut her and let her bleed," I ordered. "And you will become the guardian of this new Zarosian tempo." 

"Yes."

"And you will build an altar inside the tempo so I can recharge my prayer points," I told him.

"I will."

"And you will make nothing bad happens to it," I said.

"Yes."

Then I told the unicorn he was able to do whatever he pleased, he could stay or leave, or do anything he wanted. But I told him that if he went to Zaros and pledged his allegance to the one true god, Zaros would reward him, with something really god, perhaps badass black wings with golden tips to go with his black fur and mane and horn. And then Zilyana recharged her prayer pints at the alter Icthlarin build and then she and me and the silver ten tails left Second Age Al Kharid for the dessert and the ten tails used its tails to rearrange some of the landforms and people from the other cities noticed that and they took it as a sign that we were coming, and the knew about what happened to Amascut and Icthlarin too, and they took that as a warning.

So that was a bit short was it was sweet. Ok, please review this and favorite it, don’t disappoint me or Azzanadra for that matter. 


	7. Elidinis

Aegon here. Anyways chapter 6 got 2 reviews, which is ok, but I stale want more, I deserve more. I deserve some favorites too. This is an amazing story ok. BTW, one of the guys who used to comment on me stuff Ekjk, he un-watched me and he can bum in hell. Everyone else who commented and watched, your awesome, don’t ever change ok. 

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So we want farther into the dessert until we git to Nardah, were they welcomed us into the city. Nardah was once an oasis in the dessert and they used to be broke and everyone used to lived like hobos like the ones who were once operessed by the Smurf, except they followed Elinidis. That all ended when I made Amascunt bleed and her blood turned the dessert into greenfertile plains. Once upon a time they had little food and water, and they looked dried up like prunes, and they all wore realty smelly and odd and off colored rags and they were bearfoot too, but now they were all dressed richly in every color you could ever imagine, the girls wore diamond and gold jewelry and they all had their hare done, but none off them wore purple, and this mad me angry, purple was my favourite color and it was the color of Zaros. I knew they didn’t war it because they were filthy non-beliebers, bt I had plans to change that.   
  
The Nerdah guys knew we were cuming, they saw the tails of the ten tails changing the landscape as he waved them around and they knew that if they were hostile we’d kill them all and take no slaves. They were very kind to use, they took us in, gave us shelter at a hotel next to the beach, and they gave us the best suit they had. We stayed fora bit and ordered some room service and we got some drinks and we had some White Russians. Zilyana’s room had a view of the ocena and mine had a view of the city square. I saw they hada huge marble statue of that fucking whore Elindis and it was gilded with god and diamonds and shit, and I became so fucking enraged.   
  
I leaped out of the window ad I spread my blacke fallen angle wings, and Zilyana followed and she spread her wings and the ten tails leaped out and demolished the hotel with a swish of his tail and everyone who was inside died, they were crushed by the falling building and the were squashed like a cat bing run over by a car.   
  
Everyone stared at me and they were so scared they got to their knees immediately and begged me to spare them. I ignored them.   
  
"Why have you not concerted to the ways of Zaros?" I assked. "You people have just witnissed a miracle. You once lived in the arid dessert and you lived like hobos, all of a sudden you are wealthy and you live in the most arable, fartile land, the dessert has turned to perfect farmland, this is only possible with the power of Zaros, why do you people stile reject him for the false god Elinidis who like Icthlarin and Amascunt, ignored you in your time of need. Zaros will give you luxury and wealth and security and prosperity, and even more than that if you accept ham as the One True God in Gielinor, he will give you power, and knowledge of ancient magics and spells and prayers that could kill even the strongest beasts like Tuska in one hit and he will always watch over you, to make sure nothing bad would happen, but he is only merciful to those who follow him. If you reject him, he will respond with fire and blood. Just look at what happened to those Saradominists who refused him, those Zamorakian rebels, and those people of the city that would become Al Kharid that chose Amascunt and Icthlarin over him. Choose carefully, your fat is in your hands, and if you choose wrong, you’ll meet the same fate as those filthy heathens."   
  
One woman dressed in a see through white dress like Gorgo from 300 and she had brown hair and icy blue eyes like Emilia Clarke stood up, and she took a few streps toward me.  
  
"Please Aegon," she said. "We're all very greatful to Zaros but…"  
  
I got so fucking pissed I didn’t even let her finish. I dragged her bi her hair, and I tied her by her hare too, to a tall metal pole like a flagpole only without the flag. Then I tied her hands to the pole and her back was facing me. I ripped her cloths off, and I striped her nude. She had a really sexay body, big tits like Kate Upton and that turned me on, so I fucked her doggy style.   
  
Then I used telekinesis to gather a pile of stones and I stoned her. The stones hit her and she started to bleed. They hit her head and blood dripped from her head onto the ground. They hit her on the shoulders, back and legs and she blee all over, and she screamed and cried and bagged me to stop, but I ignored her and I told her the more she cried and screamed and begged the harder I’ll hit and the more stones I’ll thorough. That shut her up and then I kept stoning her and son she apologized and cried and said she’d do anything, she’d even get on her knees and worship Zaros.   
  
"Why are you retards all standing there?” I asked the otters. "Do the right thing! Those who don’t except Zaros die! Zaros is the One True God, he never stole his powers, he was born a god, only those gods are true gods, and Zaros is the only one to ever exist in the entire history of the universe, he is the One True God. And he is the greatest god of all, everyone ho does not love him (ew, not in that way! You people are fucked up in the head!) must despair and die! For they are nothing but sinners, who have no place in Gielinor or anywhere else! Zaros is amazing, he can conquer up a black hole to swallow Gielinor and Zanaris and all the other planets. Then you’ll be spaghettified and you’ll be split apart. He could’ve don that, but he did not choose such an evil destructive path, he chose to lead you ungateful peaces of shot to prosperity, luxury, harmony, but instead of accepting him, you cunts reject him, the One True God™ who chose compassion over destructon. How can you reject something this god?"   
  
They knew I was right so they all concerted to Zarosianism on the spot, and they all got on their knees and begged for Zaros to forgive them for living in sin and ignorace intil now. They all started whipping themselves to repent, for every convert who used to fellow false goos must be punished, for what they had done before was a sin, even if they didn’t know it was a sine, for in order to be a true Zarosian, you must be free of sin, sin you can only commit by following a false god, if you were born Zarosian, you are free to go, but if you were born fallow false gods and you just converted, you must be purified from those sins. And the only way to be purifired is to be punished.   
  
And then they all garbed some rocks and they stoned her too. Then we hung her upside down a swing set only without the swings. The bitch had her legs spread apart, and chained to either corners of the swing set and her hands were chained too. And then I took out a rusty, slow saw.   
  
"This is what happens when you donut accept Zaros," I said. "Tell this to everyone in the dessert who haven’t coverted yet! Give this to them as a warning! And if they still ignore it, kill them slowly and painfully by slow torture!"   
  
"And you, you fucking cunt,” I said to the gril. “Zaros chose not to spaghettify and split you apart, but as unishment for rejecteing him, I will do it to you!"   
  
Then I started sawing her apart. I started with her cunt, and she screamed as the rusted medal saw touched her cunt and stated cutting her apart. Blood pored out, and they slid down her body and onto the ground. I wuss going relay slowly, so it really hurt for her and she started crying and begging. Then I cut deeper and her larger intestines and shit fell out and she kept on sreaming, then I cut deeper and her smaller intestines and diarrea fell out, then I cut deeper and her bits and pieces of her stomach and liver fell out, and sance they were located at the center of herbody they were split in half and bits and pieces of undigested and half digested food fell out too, then I cunt deeper and her lungs and both halves of her heat fell out, then I git to her neck and then I split her face open, and her tongue pieces fell out, and her nose was cut in half, and her brains fell out, and finally she was fully split in two!   
  
Then everyone crapped their hands and cheered. Then someone (she was really hot like my sister Visenya with braided silver hare and red eyes like the blood of the non beliver cunt I just killed and she was wearing a see through turquoise dress dat showed cleavage) picked up the bits and pieces of per organs and piled them uo into one pile and then she brought out the non belieber’s kids and she made them eat their muther’s organs raw, and everyone else clapped nd cheered again.   
  
Then they all took out sledgehummers and they smashed the Elindis tatue in the town square and they smashed and burned all the old temples to Elindis. And they melted down all the gold, and took out the jewels from all the statues and othor valuables, and when everything they once had dedicaed to the false god was gone, they all celebaited with champayne until…  
  
Someone got up from the river that was stationed bwteen Nardan and Polliveach, and it was Elindis! She was really angry looking. She had on a dress like Queen Berry from Sailor Mon except it was black, and she had long green heir let down like Shion from Higurashi No Naku Koro Nii. She was holding a staff.   
  
"How dare you basterds leave me for Zaros!" she shooted. "In teh name of Elinidis, I will punish you!"   
  
She summoned some water from the river and she tried to trap me in a giant bubble of waer but I mad some hand signs and I made an orb of lightning appear in the both of my hands like the chidori jutsu in Naruto, and I cut through the water prison.   
  
"Prepare to be electricuted, bitch!" I said.   
  
“I don’t think so!”   
  
Elindis summoned more water from the river and she shot them at me, and there was so much water, it buried me underneath and she ried to down me.   
  
"This is what will happen ro you!" Elindis said. "To you all! This is what you get for abandoning me and smashing my temples and statues!"   
  
Then I started to swim, and then my head poked out of the water and then Elindis waved her staff and five megalodon sharks made of water swam to me but I cut them all with chidori but they reformed using the water around us, so I cut them again and I used my telekinisis to stop them form reforming then I made the water lift myself up then I concentrated on all the chaka within me and sent it to my feet like ninjas in Naruto and then I was able to walk on water.   
  
"WTF?" Elinidis said. "Ho did you survive my sharks?"   
  
"Your sharks are weak like you," I said.   
  
Then she started firing Water Surgess at me, but I dodged them all, and I fired back with kunais with paper bombs attatched to them and they exploded in her face, but they didn’t blow her head off. But it did make her nose and ears bleed and it did take out one eye, but she teleported a new convert of Nardah close to her, gouged out his eye and put it in her socket.   
  
Then she summoned a dragon made of water and it came at me, but then the silver ten tails rushed to my side and he hwipped his tails and the drahon reformed with the water beneath my fet and I got an idea. I preyed to Zaros to give the ten tails the power of lightning, and he did.   
  
"Ok, ten tails" I said. "Thunder! Use thunder!"   
  
He did that and he shocked the water dragon and it fell to the grind. Elindis got so fucking pissed! Butt before she could do anything else, the ten tails whipped water at her, creating a massive tsunami directed at her, and he then imbued it with electro ball and she was electrivuted and she fell into the water. Then I dove in after her, and I used a summoning jutsu and I summoned a lightening whip, and I whipped it at her and it wrapped around her ankle and it electicuted her foot, and she tried to pull it off but she couldn’t so she cut her foot off and then swam to the surface.   
  
I then used telekinesis to make the water form into nanobots and I made the nanobots chew her stump of a leg, andshe screamed the entire time. The nanobots chewed and chewed until her leg was gone.   
  
Then I possessed her and made her lift up all the water, open her mouth and simulatte drowning by having all the water go into her mouth and nose. And she couldn’t close her muth.   
  
Then once she was bloated with water, I preyed to Zaros. "Zaros of House Zaros, One True God, Eternal King of the World, Lord Protector of Gielinor and Patron of Fate, please turn the water into fluoroantimonic acid so it dissolves her insides and kills her from the inside."   
  
He did, and the acid dissolved her cells, tissues, and organs, and soon her skin, she screamed, as the acid burned, and it stimulated an effect like burning alive, and she scream and her insides burned and dissolved until she was reduced to nothing but dust and slime and blood.   
  
Then everyone rushed over to me, and I saw the eye with his eye gouged out and I prayed to Zaros again. "Zaros of House Zaros, One True God, Eternal King of the World, Lord Protector of Gielinor and Patron of Fate, the evil false god Elindis took his eye, she has condemned an innocent mon to a life of bad depth perception, he does not deserve this kind of injustice, Zaros show them the sort of god you are, give him a new eye."   
  
Zaros did more than that. He gave him a sharingan eye like in Naruto, and now he could see and copy his opponant's moves right down to the tiniest detail. And everyone clapped and cheered when they saw how Zaros would answere injustice with justice, and how compassionate and generous he was with his followers. The man was so grateful he said he would never forget this and he would aspire to be as loyal as me.   
  
But our celebration was cut short when we head a mini tape playing, I turned around and saw that in place of Elinidis’s remains there was a tape.   
  
"Hello," the tape said. "You may thing you won butt the game is beginning. You see, my body was a seal that was a lock to another portal at the bottom of the Elid River to another dimension where a monster like a kaiju from Pacific Rum lives. The momet you destroyed it, you unlocked the portal and now you have unleashed him and his rage, he knows the only way he can leave the dimension is if the portal’s unlocked and it can only unlock when I die. Now you will die too."   
  
Zilyana telekinetically grabbed he tape and crushed it with her hands. I faced the river and then a monster that looked like the kaiju Trespasser from Pacific Rome except it was 345678987623456789 times wider and it was named Siegfried, like the guy who hates my stories and mocks me on the forums and in the lore friends chat (dis is what you get four mocking me you fat fuck!!1111).   
  
The ten tails jumped in front of him and he cut him with his claws and Siegfired did not move, because although he was strong he was slow, like a sloth. The ten tails whipped him with all of his tails at once, and it was supper effective, Siegfried fell onto his back and the nine tails chewed through his stomach, but he couldn’t get to his organs, there was too much adiposse tissue from his skin to his organs, it served as a shield and cushion for him. We couldn’t make him bleed and he wasn’t dazed by his fall. He grabed the ten tails with his multiple hands and his claws dug into ten tails’s sliver fur and he made him bleed because ten tails was fast and leaner, so he did not posess as much ardipose tissue.   
  
Ten tails yelped in pane, and Zilyana teleported him a few feet away out of Siegfried's grip and she healed him with the heal other spell. The ten tails got up and then he whipped up all the dust he cold with all of his tails and it blurred Siegfried's vision, it got into his eyes. I flew up behind him and I poured gasoline on him and I took out of my wand.   
  
"Incendio!" I sad, and he was on fire, but the fire couldn’t bun through his adipose tissue. I flew away and I knew I had to think of something to kill him, and I wondered if I could do it on my own or if I’d need Zaros’ help again.  
  
It’s 1:59 am, I’m tired. I’ll end it here. Review and favorite, ok? Azzanadra will be disappointed if you don’t. Watch me too, I need moe watchers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **And the whole fic ends here. I'm not posting the hacked chapter. Can't find it.**


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